Monday 28 December 2015

The Hammam at the Mosque de Paris

Steamin' it up: The Hammam at the Mosque de Paris

I want to warn you all: full nudity is no longer allowed at the hammam at the Mosque of Paris. And my friend Maya and I learned this the hard way.

I don't know why we thought full nudity would be allowed. I mean, its in a mosque. But we had both gone there when we visited Paris in college and I think we remembered that you could do the full naked thing then. Or maybe we just thought that because we remembered it feeling awkward, and so we were probably naked?

I'm not sure.

But in any case, the Hammam at the Mosque de Paris is really an experience not to be missed when you come to Paris, if you like new experiences and inexpensive, relaxing spa treatments. Both of which I do.

A Hammam, for my American readers, is the Turkish version of a steam bath, which means its kind of a like a communal sauna except a wet, but not dry heat (I'm not sure why I think you'll be more familiar with a communal sauna here. Maybe its because I'm Scandinavian...) Anyway, its basically a series of rooms that are heated with steam to varying degrees of hot, super hot, and hard-to-breath hot, with pools of cool water you can splash on yourself when you get overheated, and cold cold showers you can dunk yourself in afterwards.Because this Hammam is in a mosque, it is super gorgeous:


The Hammam is segregated by day, four days a week for women and two for men, and one that's "family day". You can just get a straight admission  to the steam, where you can hang out for as long as you like (or dare) gradually getting more and more relaxed and noodle-like. But  you can also get, as a package with your admission, agommage, which is a kind of industrial strength exfoliating treatment, and a rubdown from some grandmotherly turkish ladies in crisp white uniforms. The whole thing is about 50 Euros, which while not the cheapest of the cheap, is pretty good for a unique Paris spa experience.

But here's the thing. Like with a lot of things in Paris, no one is going to tell you how this works beforehand. Unlike in US spas - at least the ones I've been to - where they take a little time to orient you and sometimes even give you a little tour of the place, the Hammam must be such a regular thing for some people that they just assume you know what you're doing. Either that, or it's their entertainment to watch the newbies stumble about. So I will impart some tips on the experience, after the jump:





First, you're handed a bucket and a little packet of "savon noir" or black soap (its actually sort of more tan) and a pair of waterproof sandals. The women at the counter sort of points you to the back, and you're off, trying to find the dressing room and figure out the key system for the lockers. Then comes the choice - the majorchoice - of how much to take off. This is one of those instances where it would be really great if someone would just have said to us "Bathing Suits required" or "just get buck naked, we don't care." I saw several women with just bikini bottoms on, but wasn't sure if this was the norm or if they were just being French.

I had only my maternity bathing suit, and Maya had no bathing suit things at all - Plus, I was now fully intimidated because - as I may have mentioned in a previous post - Parisian women don't tend to take their clothes off unless they look drop dead amazing, so the women I had seen were of that intimidating, "I'm forty but still have the body of a teenager" variety.

But forget that forget that (I told myself) ! You are married and a mom and you are comfortable enough with yourself to not get self-conscious about your post-preggo body. You are here for YOU, not these genetic-freak bitches! (Sometimes I have to have little pep talks with myself when I'm around the women here). Yet, the question remained, bathing suit or no?

I opted for the maternity suit sort of rolled down, like as IF it were bikini bottoms but clearly it was not. Oh well, that's what I had to work with. Maya - who looks amazing all the time, so probably wasn't having any sort of pep talk with herself - just took it off and went into the main room -

Where we were sort of chewed out in French by the woman doing the gommages. We couldn't understand it all but apparently yes, bikini bottoms are required. So I impart this to you, dear readers, so you will not make the same mistake we did.

I will also impart a few other tips, about theorder of things. First, you are supposed to sit in the steam until you get good and slick. There are two levels of heat - the main room, which at first feels suffocating but which eventually you get used to, and the crazy-hot room with the pool of cold water in the middle for immediate relief. Once you have become sufficiently full of steam and covered in sweat, you open your little packet of savon noir (nearly impossible to do now with your sweaty hands) and rub the soap all over your body. Then you fill a bucket with cold water from one of the taps and rinse yourself off, trying not to scream in shock as the cold water hits your skin. TIP HERE: it helps to bring a loofah or a washcloth of some kind. We did not do this, and so then its a little awkward because you are both sweaty and soapy. But we managed.

Then you go get your gommage, where a very efficient African woman scrubs you down on a plastic table. Here's the only negative - after the gommage, you will have little bits of dead skin all over your body (sorry if that's gross to anyone, I just tell it like it is), and you'll want to take a shower. BUT all the showers at the hammam have are freezing cold. I repeat, there are no hot showers. It might sound like this would be nice after your steambath experience, but --- well, I actually can't think of a time when a freezing cold shower sounds good to me. Again, here a washcloth can come in handy.

After that, you head to the main room of the hammam for your massage, which is fantastic and cheap, though expect to be covered in lavender-scented oil afterwards, including your hair. And did I mention there are only freezing cold showers?

So you'll emerge from the hammam looking a little oily, but feeling extremely refreshed and relaxed, and then I sincerely hope you will stay and have tea and Turkish pastries in the Mosque's outdoor cafe. It is beautiful and a great way to end the experience.

If I didn't live all the way across town, I'd be here more often, you can bet on it.



LA MOSQUEE DE PARIS
39 Rue Geoffroy-Saint-Hilaire, 75005 Paris
01 43 31 18 14
M: Jussieu, Gare D'Austerlitz, Place Monge  

No comments: